She was known for her unapologetic sexuality, from her sexy selfies on Instagram to her flirty videos inviting Indian cricketer Virat Kohli to date her.
There were redundancy problems at work; my marriage was showing strains; and there was something large and unnameable missing from my life.
I told no one, immersed and isolated in my secret life. In moments of fleeting clarity, I wanted to understand what was happening to me. Was it just my marriage problems, or was there something deeper causing me to behave that way?
I met all sorts of people, from all over the world, older and younger, and each seemingly as desperate for a true connection as I. Should I be blaming my mother, or my – mostly absent – father for feeling that something was eternally missing? I was born to a woman that didn't much want children, and who fell foul to postnatal depression a good couple of decades before the term was even coined.
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